I saw a schizophrenic woman break into the room of a man with Catatonia. She gave him a BJ and apparently it was enough to get him out of his psychosis. -SharpFlyyngAxe

My mother worked in an asylum in Ireland when she was about 15. This was in the early 60s. She loved working there, despite the fact that some of the patients would physically try and kill her. One patient always stuck out to her, every day he would tell my mum he was going to kill her when she finished work.

She knew he loved music, so would tell him she was out dancing that night, and could he wait until the next day, which he agreed to. The next day he would forget what he had said, and would threaten her again, and she'd say the say thing again. This went on for a couple of years that she worked there. -tiredandstupid82

A girl named Wendy. She was 13, really nice. But she always wore the same clothes and she stank really really bad. Apparently this is a common defense for kids who have been repeatedly raped/assaulted by family. They don't clean themselves or they'll even soil themselves to make themselves undesirable to their abuser. I gave her a big hug every night in the common area when it was time to go to our cells. -better-off-ted

One kid named David who was very tall for his age, I think he was only 13. He insisted on watching Friday the 13th movies on movie nights and everyone was afraid to disagree with him because of his violent nature and frequent homicidal fantasies. He hated taking his meds, and probably 2 or 3 times a week he'd brawl with the psych nurses over it. No joke, it took 5 to 6 large grown men to overcome this kid. He was scary. -better-off-ted

I used to work in a psych ward about 22 years ago in a private locked unit. I would say someone eating a lightbulb. -Beth4780

This 65-year-old man who walked around with a raging erection literally all day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner this man was hard as a rock. it was both weird and disgusting. -No-Tailor5120

I was a social worker at an institution that had a hall for what we called “lifers,” it was essentially for people who had no hopes of ever being released due to their conditions. Anyway, my hall had 14 beds and it was full. There was this one guy who was huge. He was 6’7 and about 350. His name was Simon. He suffered from drug-induced schizophrenia and had bipolar disorder. He talked to himself all day, but never talked to others. All the other men in the ward were scared of him.

It was my day to do first shift. I got there early to start on some paperwork I needed to finish. When I got my keys in the door, I heard Simon hit the door with his fists. I looked through the tiny window on the door and he and the hall was covered in blood. I panicked and called security for backup because I thought he had killed somebody.

Turns out, Simon was in the throes of an extreme manic episode and had managed to walk the literal soles of his feet off. Other medication he was on thinned his blood and led to him bleeding all over the place.

We checked the camera footage and he had walked and talked all night. The orderly (who was fired that day) had slept through his whole shift and never heard Simon walking back and forth. -CamillaCream02

The funniest thing I ever saw (spent total of about three years in in my teens and early 20's): a kid in seclusion who was having a genuinely good time making staff's life a living nightmare while he was in there, took apart the plastic mattress, tore the foam inside into small pieces, donned the empty mattress and started yelling 'I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!' while tossing the pieces of foam around like confetti. Even most of the staff were laughing about it. -t_portch

I think the most shocking thing though, is how you can have some truly awful and psychotic patients who turn out to be genuinely cool people once you get them on consistent meds. I'm talking 100% turnarounds. Of course then they get discharged, stop taking their meds, and the cycle repeats. -RockHound86

I've worked in one for about 2 years now. Patient milked themself into their coffee. Did you know some anti-psychotics make you lactate? -NeverlandEnding

Most amazing: for some reason a piano was in the psych ward, a patient who never spoke started playing, she knew every piece by heart. The entire ward of psychotics, manics, and even staff went and sat in that room. Not a word was spoken for a good half hour. -carrot_bunny_dildo

The craziest thing was how hard they tried to shove religion down our throats, seemed almost criminal tbh. -TheCyrcus

My brother-in-law had a stint in a psych ward a little over a year ago, and on a particularly manic day they were in the middle of the community room and started singing “I have a structured settlement and I need cash now.”

This was then met by about 40-50 psych patients shouting back “CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!” After getting a few verses in the orderlies stepped in and kindly requested they stop, which was kinda a shame since it sounded like they were all having a good time. -MikeMars1225

One of the places I worked had these conjoined courtyards that were shared by two units at a time. A tech from each unit was assigned to monitor the yard, and we would usually sit on a bench where we could see everything and just chat during yard time. So this patient from the other ward came over to sit with us, smelled gross.

He had paranoid delusions, real “tinfoil hat” stuff. I said to him, “Hey do you know the one place where the government can’t watch you? The shower!” To my amazement, it worked! He happily went to his unit to take a shower. Cue 10 minutes later this guy come running out of his ward and into the courtyard, butt naked and soapy, being chased by two other techs! I felt a little responsible for this, so I joined in the chase. He ran around the courtyard a few times before we chased him back into his unit and to his room.

He jumped up on the bed and looked at us. Since it wasn’t my patient I let the other two techs take lead. The guy feinted left, then lunged right, to try to jump on his roommate’s bed. The two techs lunged after him, and managed to get ahold of his sweaty arms (did I mention he was so slick and sweaty that he had already literally slipped out of our hands a few times?) and the whole group of them tripped their way onto this second bed together. The patient got turned face down and landed on the bed. One of the unfortunate techs slipped on the tile floor and landed nose in to the patient’s butt cheeks. I'll never forget that. -Rocinantes_Knight

Guy had a "tattoo" carved into his neck. Apparently he took a pen in his fist and repeatedly carved it into his skin right on his neck. It looked very scratchy and was still red despite it apparently being pretty old. -kmn493