Did you spend the weekend doing things IRL? Well, you’ve come to the perfect place to educate yourself on all things chronically online. Below is an array of the funniest tweets from the weekend that you missed out on. Why go on Elon Musk’s terror app when you can get all the good stuff without the trauma of opening the app? I have a broken brain from scrolling so you don’t.

Thanksgiving gave Twitter users the perfect ammunition to post some insane things they heard from their families. It was also a day for celebs and public figures to give thanks on the timeline. The Biohacking Billionaire posted about being thankful that he’s not depressed anymore— as he posed naked with dumbells in his home and ingested a zillion pills each morning to prevent aging. No one can say you are depressed even if you dedicate all of your effort and resources to conquer death. This is the image of pure health!

In this round-up we have hilarious posts like the AMC women’s bathroom icon being iconic, one user failing to recognize the Polar Express was outside his door, and hometown Chinese takeout places with the funniest names. There were questions about the McDonald's float at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And multiple posts about an A.I. man who can’t figure out if it’s more important to juggle his family or some onions (put down the onions).

Get your chuckles and your current Twitter education down below.