This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that's cool. She's watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who's changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it's Petty Labelle

I was travelling from Edinburgh to London by train and had a booked window seat with a table. I got on the train to find four guys sitting at the table. The one in my seat (that was clearly marked as booked) refused to move as he was with his friends and the train was packed. The ticket collector passed and I asked him to help. He asked the guy to move but he refused and somehow that was that. 'So what now?' I asked. 'You can find another seat but I have no power to move him, only the police [can] move him and they will not turn up just to move someone out of a seat.' There were no seats free in the carriage and probably not many free on the train so standing to London was a possibility. 'I'm going to take a seat in first class.' 'You can't sit there, you don't have a booking.' 'Well, you could call the police to move me but apparently, they won't turn out to move someone out of a seat.' I had a lovely trip with power for my laptop and a wide comfy seat.

This happened a while ago, but, I just found this sub, so here goes. I used to live on the 3rd floor of an apartment that had its laundry in the basement. Which means 4 flights of stairs for me, no elevator, and I have a newborn so I'm washing quite a bit. So we have cubbies in the laundry room for our soap and stuff. I've lived there a year and never had an issue leaving my soap down there. Apparently, some new people had moved in that were using my soap. When I realized it, I left a note asking that they stop. Nothing. They kept using. Okay. Now I'm angry. I got 2 bottles of soap. A blue colored one. And clear colored one. Marked the bottles CLEARLY that they belonged to me (so they couldn't accidentally say they thought they were theirs) filled the blue soap with blue Rit dye. Filled the clear soap with unscented bleach. And waited.... Didn't take long. The next morning I hear screaming coming from the laundry room. 4 floors up I heard it. I waited a while and ventured downstairs. In the laundry room I found a bunch of wet clothes in the garbage that were bleach stained. 4 days later I saw a young man get into a car with a blue stained t-shirt. Touch my f**king stuff.

My roommate enjoys nice long showers in the morning using all of the hot water. I realized that he literally jumps out of bed and runs into the bathroom when he hears my alarm. I started putting my alarm on silence for a while and this was working well enough but I still missed my morning shower several times because of their unreasonable long showers. So I just started moving to two alarms one alarm about an hour and a half before I normally get up. This has caused him for about two weeks now to get up really early run the hot water out and be out with enough time for it to be warm again. Small victories are nice.

Friday night I came home from work to find someone on our block was having a large party and someone decided they were entitled to park in my driveway. Keep in mind my driveway is a single car width lined with a retaining wall on both sides and a garage at the end. Essentially impossible for a tow truck to come pull them out without property damage. Seeing this and the lack of street parking I took this as a cue to park right behind them in my driveway. Now a few hours go by and their entitled parker is now knocking at my door demanding I move my car so she can leave. Seeing as they were demanding, I informed them that I had been drinking and would not move my car. The Entitled Parker then decides to call the police to get them to force me to move. When the police knocked on my door, I was sure to grab a beer from the fridge before I answered to talk to the officer. I had informed him that after I got home I was unwinding and had been drinking and was in no shape to drive. At this point their hands were tied because they couldn’t tow her car out, I’m in no shape to drive, and I’m legally parked in my driveway. I ended up telling the Entitled Parker that since it is a long weekend I would be on a weekend long bender and they could come move my car after I go to work on Tuesday.

When my kids were preschoolers, we spent every summer morning at the pool. I had a bag full of toys that I took with us so that they could keep themselves amused. In July, a mom and her preschooler started coming to the pool. My kids were cool sharing their toys, since this kid had none with him. Cool, that is, until after about two weeks, [when] he started demanding my kids' special toys that they were playing with. The entitled mom looks up from her book and starts berating my children for being mean and not sharing. She tells them to give their toys to her son. I reached over and took her book. When she asked me what on earth I was doing, and told me to give it back to her, I responded with her own words. 'Why was she being so mean? She should share.' She lost her mind. I just kept on responding that what is good for adults is good for kids. So if she believes my kids are not entitled to the private use of their own property and are mandated to share with others, then she believes the same goes for her. She couldn't have it both ways. I asked her to choose a way she wanted to live. She packed up in a huff and we never saw her again.

So I'm leaving the grocery store recently and loading the items I purchased into my vehicle when I notice an entitled woman (EW) nearby. She's on the phone and has her empty shopping cart in front of her. I finish loading my groceries and put my cart in the designated place like a decent person, get in my vehicle and begin to move forward when I see EW lightly shove her shopping cart in my general direction. It stops in front of my vehicle, blocking my path, but EW is already marching back toward her own vehicle, completely oblivious. I'm angry but try to keep my cool. Me: Excuse me, could you please move your cart out of my way? EW: (on phone) Hold on, someone is bothering me. (To me) Move it yourself, I'm busy! (goes back to talking on the phone) Me: (internally) Oh, hell no! I put my vehicle into park, get out, and do as she suggested — I move her cart. Right behind the vehicle she's getting into. But I'm not done, because I'm fuming now. I take the entire line, train, whatever you call it of about 15 more carts that were in the little cart docking area nearby and slowly shove it over behind her vehicle. I separate a few from the line and begin putting them around her vehicle in a sort of semi-circle before she notices and starts getting out. EW: (on phone and agitated) I'll have to call you back. (to me) What the hell do you think you're doing? Me: I moved your cart like you wanted me to. (shrugs shoulders) Turns out I had so much fun, I guess I just got excited and moved a few more. EW: Move those out of my way this instant! I'm in a hurry! Me: Move them yourself, I'm busy! EW: (unintelligible scream) She tries to shove one of the carts my way but I drive away from that section of the parking lot too quickly. I can see her literally shaking her fist at me when I look in the rear view mirror. I smile and drive on

Lad at work just eats everyone’s treats. Tomorrow will be a surprise for him

Ethan isn’t playing around this semester

I live in a college dorm on an all-female floor. I usually wear a bra if leaving the dorm building, but I'm not going to put on a bra under my shirt just to walk down the hall to the bathroom. A few days ago, I left my room and walked 10 yards down the hall to the water fountain, refilled my water bottle, and went back to my room. I was wearing a white tank top and no bra (the tank top was fitted but not see-through, so you could only see the outline of my nips). There was a small group of people hanging out in the hall outside a few of the rooms, but I didn't think much of it... until around half an hour later, when I got a knock on the door from one of the girls I'd seen in the hall. She said something to the effect of 'Hey, so sorry to ask you this, but if you go out into the hall again could you put a bra on? My boyfriend's out there and he was staring a little, so... I'm super non-confrontational, so I was like 'Yeah, sure, sorry about that!' and for the rest of that night, anytime I left my room I put a bra or sweater on. And that was the end of it. Or so I thought. The next day, my roommate told me she'd overheard the girl telling a few of her friends about the incident while in the bathroom. She said the girl was making it sound like I'd been purposely trying to seduce her boyfriend, wearing basically nothing, taking my time at the water fountain, posing to push out my tits, the whole works. When she left the bathroom, my roommate said the girl was actually acting it out at the water fountain, pretending to be me. That night, I passed the girl and some of her friends on my way to go brush my teeth (I wasn't wearing a bra, I was already in pajamas). The girl looked pointedly down at my chest and all of them started giggling. But the last straw was when the entire dorm got an email from the RA yesterday, saying she'd gotten some anonymous complaints about people dressing inappropriately in the hallways and asking that we all just make sure we're keeping things covered up. So here's where I got my petty little revenge: I knew that the girl's boyfriend doesn't go to college here (the girl and I were in the same orientation group and chatted a bit back then). I also knew that due to the pandemic, we aren't allowed to have non-student/family guests in the dorms this year. So I used the same anonymous complaint form to issue a complaint about people bringing their off-campus boyfriends into our dorm and them not wearing a mask (masks are mandatory in the hallways, although not frequently enforced.) This morning, the RA emailed again saying that due to anonymous complaints, they'd be enforcing the no off-campus guests rule by checking IDs of unfamiliar guests to make sure they were students from then on. Really, this girl should be thanking me. If she was concerned about her boyfriend seeing the vague outline of my tits in the dorm hallways, she no longer needs to worry!"

Last week, I was out and about, making a start on some errands I had. As I was walking, I was going through my long to-do list in my head. So I wasn't frowning, I wasn't smiling. My face was just in neutral. A man starts heading towards me. As we pass, he tells me, "Smile, it could be worse." I stop, stare at him for a moment, and then I say, "My parents were in an accident. My mum died on impact. We're turning off my dad's life support tomorrow." The guy looked like a robot being suddenly shut down. His face fell. He looked like a deer in headlights. He stuttered and stammered. He was obviously trying to think of something to say, and when he couldn't, he turned around, and speed-walked away. My parents are both fine. There was no accident. But it annoys me when people think they have the right to dictate how people are feeling and what expressions they make, especially when they don't know what is going on in their lives. It's unhelpful and patronizing. Imagine telling somebody who was just been given a terminal diagnosis, "Smile, it could be worse." Or somebody who has lost a child, been laid off, or is otherwise struggling and in a terrible situation...?

Some years ago we had some new neighbors move in next door. Nice enough people but we had a problem with them. The husband traveled a lot and his wife was afraid of just about everything, the dark, thunderstorms, you name it. The problem was the flood lights over their garage doors. She would leave them on all night, every night, even though you couldn't see them from inside of their house. They were positioned such that they would shine into our bedroom at night. We were not able to block them effectively with our curtains. We asked them politely several times if they could turn them off at night since they served no effective purpose. They adamantly refused. I offered to pay for a timer that would control them. No way they would consider it. I thought about taking the bulbs out, shooting them out with my pellet gun, etc. The solution that I arrived at was to simply loosen them up enough that they wouldn't come on. Since they couldn't see them from inside the house it was about 5-6 months before they realized that they were not working. They screwed them back in. I waited a couple of weeks and unscrewed them again. Another few months went by. Finally, one day, my neighbor asked me if I ever had any trouble with my outdoor lights. I told him yes, as a matter of fact I did. I said that they would loosen up occasionally and I would have to retighten them. I blamed it on vibration from the traffic on our street. He said that he had the same problem. I told him that I finally just gave up and left them off. He eventually did the same. We were happy with the final outcome and we were able to keep peace in the neighborhood.

You park in 2 spots, I zip tie a cart to your car

I've been working at a Subway restaurant for the past two years from the end of high school through my first year of college. I take classes in the morning and afternoon so when I work it's usually a closing shift (only working 15 hours a week, full-time student). The only issue is that I close by myself so it really toys with my anxiety whenever I get a rush, or can't finish certain duties by a certain time, etc. So by the end of the night, I'm usually so out of it mentally and just want to get home ASAP (we close at 10). So tonight I was closing like usual, and I really wanted to get home as early as I could to finish an assignment due at midnight. Of course, with my luck, it turns out to be one of the busiest nights we've had in a while because they recently sent out coupons for BOGO footlong after 4 p.m. So by the time 10 rolls around I'm f**king finishing up the dishes, cleaning the line, counting the bread, wraps, bowls, etc, and I go to lock the door at 10 and as I'm turning off the open signs, a guy walks in and I tell him 'Sorry, we're closed.' He wittily responds: 'Then how'd I get in here?' I respond: 'I was walking to lock the door right now, you have to leave sir.' Him: 'No, I want a sandwich.' At this point, I'm just thinking if this guy's ballsy enough to tell a business worker to stay open after hours because HE wants service, then idk what he could do. So I decide to make him his sandwich to just make him go away. He proceeds to take a good two to three more minutes just staring at the menu, omg I was fuming, every dagger imaginable coming from my eyes was hitting his stare. I make his sandwich then we move to the POS/cash register. I go to put in the sandwich, tell him his total, and he pulls out a $50 dollar bill. HOLY SH*T I get so f**king excited because we can't accept bills over $20 and I pray he doesn't have any other method of pay. I tell him the bad news, he of course gets angry saying to break it anyway, well good thing I just dropped most of the money from the register into our safe before I went to lock up, so I literally couldn't give him proper change for the $50. I explain it to him as I slide his sub to the side where he can't reach it and he just leaves in a fit of rage. I proceeded to then take that sub home and eat it whilst finishing up my assignment and turning it in on time. Honestly, if he wasn't such a commanding douche I would've just given him the sub and told him not to worry about it. But if you're gonna force me to do my job past our posted hours and be a [jerk] about it, you're not getting a break."

So this morning, traffic is totally backed up due to a fender bender at a construction zone. Karen decides to blast by everyone in the left-hand only turn lane and force her way in up front. She has an older Ford SUV, covered in dents and road rash. Lots of middle fingers and horns express their displeasure at her move. She ends up right next to me. I hatch my evil plan. I roll down my window and honk at her. She ignores me. So, I wave at her nicely and point to her back tire. Then I motion to her to roll down her window. 'Your tire is really low! You might want to pull over to the gas station and put some air in it! Here, I'll let you in front of me!' She smiles, says thanks and pulls into the gas station. I drive off as she's getting out to check her perfectly fine tire. The gas station exit is right where the accident was, it probably added 20 minutes to her commute to pull in there and try to get back out.

I own a big house. I am talking old Victorian type that I restored. An older couple moved in across the street this summer and started b**ching about everything I did. They didn't like the siding I was having put on, my front door color was ugly, they hated all the different colored flowers I planted. They didn't like the idea a of a young, single woman living in a house I clearly couldn't afford. They actually told me that. I tried to ignore them until Christmas. I put up lights and a few blow ups but nothing the other neighbors don't do. This couple started b**ching right off. Christmas offended them. I just smiled and added more. At this moment my house can be seen on Mars. To add to the petty I told the neighbor next to me and he told another and then another. You get the picture.

My ex broke up with me just about a year into us dating. In hindsight, she was awful but I was blind to it all. She broke up with me over the phone, which seemed a little informal from all the time we spent together. Fast forward a week after that, several individuals connected to her, but not each other, confirmed she was in fact seeing another man. I didn't confront her about it, because I realize that things just don't work out sometimes. It was just the way she went about it that irked me. I'm old enough (late 30s) to accept that people are just a**holes, but I also felt like she was getting away with something without feeling even a bit of remorse (the breakup was the only contact, no calls or texts occurred after that over a year ago) I remembered for Christmas that I bought her (us) a really expensive couples massage spa package because she would always say how she wanted to do something like that. I had purchased some big package from a local place that cost roughly $600. I obviously didn't have the certificate with me. I decided to go to the spa and make up a story of how I lost the certificate. I showed them the receipt (always keep those!) and showed him my credit card charge. They wound up reissuing me a gift card, and canceling the other. That was over a year ago and frankly I forgot about it. Today I get a call from her (first contact in a year since breaking up) and she's screaming at me over the phone that the gift certificate is no good and the spa place accused her of "stealing" and what a POS I was for reporting it to be such. (I called the guy, he said he told her it was reported stolen) I just politely explained I didn't think she was deserving of it and if she really wanted to, she could just have Mark (dude she was bangin') pay for new one. I then hung up. Gonna make an appointment to use that card with my new GF soon. Mission accomplished.

I’m a flight attendant for a major airline and the entitlement I encounter is [wild]. This week, passengers were boarding the flight as usual: large roll-on bags on top, personal items underneath their seat. Then this lady comes on and half-asses her roll-on into the overhead bin. I mean, this bag is halfway sticking out from the bin. So we make an announcement: 'L & G, please make sure your bag is properly placed in the overhead bin, this flight will be full and if the bag does not fit as we are closing bins, it will have to be checked.' I can see the lady and she looks at her bag and stares out the window again. A second and third announcement are made, just for her. I can’t stop the boarding process to talk to her directly so whatever. I would have to deal with her bag at the end of boarding. True to our word the flight is completely full and so are the bins. I approach her luggage and of course, the bin does not close. I ask the general area whose bag I was holding as it does not fit as it's placed. 'That’s my bag, but there are people's backpacks up there, ask them to put them under their seat so you can make it fit. Also, there’s a jacket behind my bag, my bag always fits up there,' she says. There’s nothing behind her bag. It’s too long and won’t fit perpendicular to the aisle and the bin is full so I can’t place it in sideways. So I tell her this and ask what her final destination was so I could check it there. She refuses to tell me, again repeating to 'make it work, do your job.' We are approaching our departure time so I’m already flustered with this lady. I said: 'I’m sorry, I can’t make it work. This bag needs to be checked. We made several announcements over the last 15 minutes and you had plenty of time to get your bag stowed properly. People have as much right to access these bins as you do so I can’t force passengers to bring down their items to accommodate yours.' So I asked her again, what her final destination was. She ignored me and stared out the window. 'Ma’am?' No answer. 'Ma'am?' Nothing. Fine. I take the bag down and hand it to the agent. What’s the final destination he asks. Our flight was headed to Chicago. I paused. 'Lubbock.'"

As revenge for my brother wrapping my Christmas present in duct tape last year, this year I've wrapped my brother's present in concrete! Revenge best served stone-cold!

It was a cold winter day. Eight inches of snow had fallen the night before, and the windchill made it feel as if it were in the negatives (Fahrenheit). I drive an all-wheel-drive SUV so I have no issues getting out. My wife on the other hand drives a Prius, which slides with the smallest amount of moisture on the road. My car was down at the time, so we had to take my wife’s car. I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling that car out so we could get to the store. We were gone for an hour, and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled. Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty pissed. I went inside and filled two-gallon jugs of water. Went back out and poured them on his windshield. Rinse and repeat. I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight. The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield. Don’t take my goddamn parking spot

A while ago I was working for a popular restaurant chain. I was a bartender there but frequently picked up serving shifts. Often, I was responsible for training our new employees, and honestly, I preferred training them so they knew how to do the job properly. Anyway, one particular server that I had was this sweet boy who was great with customers and would literally bend over backward to please someone. I don't know if I've met anyone who cared about others like this since. As such, I felt particularly protective over this boy. One particular shift, I was bartending and he was serving a larger party that had been sat near my bar. I could overhear everything that was happening while he served them. The lady, who I assumed was the head of the party, would not give this kid a break and was constantly talking over him, asking for things that we have never had on the menu (of course claiming she'd had it last time), giving him attitude for these non-existent items, basic entitled customer nonsense. I could see this server was visibly becoming flustered with the table, but unfortunately in food, that's what you have to learn to deal with. The turning point for me was when she snapped at the server over a birthday song. Our establishment does not sing 'Happy Birthday' to tables, however, we do offer a free sundae. The server explained this, but she was not having it. He even (very politely) offered to sing, but warned her it would only be him singing as the other servers likely wouldn't join in. She was incredibly rude to him about this and I was behind the bar fuming. As he finally goes to ring in their entree order, she (rudely) asks him for another mojito, saying that I hadn't made it properly. Another thing to note is that our location is next to a hockey stadium, so based off whether we have a game or not, we'll prepare drinks in different glasses. I hadn't been thinking and had made the drink in the wrong glass. Apparently, she thought she deserved more alcohol since I made a 'mistake.' She sent the drink back and ordered my server to tell me to give her more liquor. One thing you never tell a bartender? Make my drink stronger. So, of course, I remade her mojito with zero alcohol, except for two drops of rum down her sip straw. She certainly enjoyed her 'stronger' drink, and even ordered two more. Hope you enjoyed paying almost $30 for three drinks with maybe a quarter ounce of liquor altogether. Don't mess with my servers (or insult my drinks)."

So, driving down my parents' back lane to pick up my two daughters, 20 feet from my parents' driveway a truck is sitting with its flashers on sitting in the middle of the back lane, blocking the whole road. I sit for a bit waiting for her to move and the lady yells at me, 'I have my flashers on, I'm going to be 10 minutes, go around the block.' I would have had to pull a U-turn in a back lane, drive 500 feet, take two left turns, drive 600 feet, two more left turns, 100 more feet to get into the parking spot that was now 20 feet away from me. The two ladies in the truck were unloading groceries from the back of the truck at a very cumbersome pace. So I respond, 'Can you pull ahead 20 feet or pull into the empty driveway (yes they had a spot they could have pulled into) to let me pass?' To which she responds, 'No, my flashers are on, I have 10 minutes to unload.' I was having none of this nonsense, so I turn my car off, put my flashers on, go to my parents', get my mom's keys, reverse her car into the back lane, and put her flashers on. I now have my vehicle and my mom's vehicle blocking them in. They are finishing their unloading of groceries and start to go off on me saying they will call a tow truck and so on, and several other verbal abuses, to which I respond, 'My flashers are on, I'll only be 10 minutes.' I moved the car five minutes later, the people in question were not amused.

I don’t mind when my roommates borrow my stuff. We’ve all been there. All I ask is that they replace what they take. You drink my milk? Just buy me a new milk. It’s as simple as that. Unfortunately my roommate doesn’t seem to get this. She keeps taking my stuff and when I ask her to please replace everything she takes she’ll buy one new thing and “forget” to do it the next time despite having more money than me. I finally snapped when I wanted to wash my clothes but only found an empty box that used to contain my washing powder. I don’t buy fancy or expensive stuff and I don’t care about brands. After using the last of my powder a week earlier she could literally have bought the cheapest no-brand powder in the world and I would have been fine. I just snapped. I had told her over and over to not use my washing powder if she wasn’t going to replace it and I just had enough. I bought a new box of washing powder, some dylon machine dye, mixed it with a bit of the washing powder and dumped it into the old box. When the dye is dry it looks like washing powder, especially if you’re not expecting it. I took my new box of washing powder to my room and waited. A week later I came home from work and saw her laundry hanging outside, all with a mysterious pink color. She stomped up to me and demanded to know what I had done. I told her I was going to dye my own clothes and someone had told me the shade would be lighter if I mixed it with powder (lie), then asked her why she had used it when it had clearly been in a box with my name on it when I had told her not to use it because she never replaced it? I don’t think she believed me but she finally got the message. She almost never takes my stuff and when she does she’s quick to replace it.

I used to be kind of an a**. I've really mellowed out since. But sometime around 2001–2002, I had an incident in my university dorm laundry room. I can pinpoint the year because my freshman year was the only year our laundry machines took quarters; machines accepted a university cash/card system the following years. Anyway, I'm a freshman living in the dorms, it's the weekend, and I'm doing laundry. We had an unwritten rule in the dorm laundry room: If you don't attend to your laundry, it's totally cool for someone to pull it out and throw it on the table (wet or dry). If you don't like it, just promptly attend to your laundry when the washer or dryer turns off. I assume it's like this on a lot of campuses. I don't like people touching my laundry, so I always set an alarm to be there when it's done (on my digital watch, not my phone!). I wash my clothes, throw them in the dryer, and set my timer. Soon after, my watch goes off and I walk back to the laundry room only to find my dryer load completely wet and on the table. Oh hell no! Someone pulled my sh*t from the dryer, only to dump it out and dry their stuff for free. Well, good news: I had more quarters, so I could dry my stuff just fine. Actually, I had enough quarters for my anonymous friend too — why didn't they just ask? So I grab their clothes and throw [them] in an open washing machine with six of my spare quarters. Actually, wait — I can drop another quarter in for a heavy cycle, which entitles you to an additional rinse and spin! I happen to have another quarter, so I do. The heavy cycle takes over an hour and a half to complete. Now's a good time to mention a nice feature the washing machines had that the dryers didn't: they locked while in operation. The homie would have been stuck for about 100 minutes waiting for another chance to dry their clothes. I hope they made better choices the second time.

My aunt (now 40) have three kids under the age of 10. At every family gathering I (23m) become the defacto babysitter despite me not wanting to so the adults can drink. It was her birthday dinner yesterday and my mom promised me that I wouldnt have to babysit and that the kids would be at a friends house. The first step I take into their home is greeted by two earsplitting screams about how much the kids missed me and one toddlery jodeling. I immediately realise I might have been lied to. Normally I dont drink (huge light weight) but since this was a special occasion I had made some plans. So my aunt enters the hall to greet my mom while I reach into my backpack and walk into the living room and crack one out of two 12% Viking beer I specialordered for me and my uncle (he likes weird beer) and we start drinking. About three minutes later my aunt sees the can and starts screaming at me for drinking while watching the kids (I only hear distant screaming). I repeat my moms promise and she calls me the R word when they are clearly staying here. So I reach out my hand and say 200 bucks for emergency babysitting and I wont finish this beer. She says h*** no so I chug the half litre can to the loud cheers and laughs from my dad and uncle. When I'm done I say "birth happy day mommy sister" with a burp. With my mom just looking hugely embarrassed for my aunt. My designated driver dad ends up watching them the entire night instead, I think he might schedule a vasectomy soon.

My (ex)husband and I met when our best friends married each other. He was the best man, and I was the maid of honor. After a couple of years we all lived in the same community and had our 4 children in the same time frame. We hired my friend, let’s call her “Hobag,” to be our attorney for our business when we thought about selling franchises. Hobag and my ex, let’s call him “Dog,” spent lots of late nights working out the kinks in contracts….and more. One July they had to go to NY for a week to “interview prospective franchisees.” Her (ex)husband called me to say he’d hired a detective who followed them and saw them all lovey-dovey, and that they only had one hotel room. Well, since it was July and sizzling, her front right minivan window was open about 2”. I took it upon myself to purée a few raw shrimp with chicken broth and strain the solids out. Then I fed a long tube down to her rear passenger carpet, and under the seat as best I could. (I didn’t choose the front seat because it had removable mats.) I then slowly funneled about 1/2 cup of my potion down the tube. That week it was over 90° every day. It was ghastly. A triumph! Her husband and I didn’t let on that we knew about their affair until we’d each had consultations with every good lawyer in our city, and had our financial ducks in a row. Petty, effective revenge I don’t regret.

This happened many years ago, but I heard the theme song from the movie just now, and the memory came flooding back. I had gone to see a popular movie by myself, got to the theater in plenty of time, and sat down. Theater starts to fill up, and soon the only available seats are single seats here and there, including the one next to me. I notice a man, one row ahead of me that has an empty seat on either side if him, as well as the seat in front of him, so yes, he had a prime seat. A couple comes in, and they start looking for two seats together. They notice the man in the row in front of mine and his empty seats on either side and politely ask if he would move one seat over so they could sit together. He refused. This rubbed me the wrong way. Granted, I would have hated to lose the luxury of empty seats around me in a crowded theater too, but if I only paid for one seat, I'm only entitled to one seat. So I asked the couple if they would like my seat and the empty seat next to mine, and I would move to a single empty seat. Couple gratefully accepted, and I moved to the seat in front of the entitled patron. I got to be nice (to couple) and petty in the same action, not bad!

So this happened way back in 2013. I was living in a large space with 5 roommates. One of my roommates was know for borrowing food including expensive stuff like meat but never replacing it. Well one day I knew his mother was coming to visit and stay a few days and his mom absolutely loved horses, so what I decided to do was bait this roommate with horse meat. It’s not common in the US but legal to buy imported so I acquired some nice thin cuts and I sliced most of it and salted and left in a Tupperware I the fridge while I went it the rest of the package with the horse meat store label in the freezer. Well sure enough in the evening I noticed some of the horse is gone so I make a big deal about someone stealing some of my horse meat in front of his mom. They go ‘haha. Very funny. Sure it’s horse meat.’ And my roommate owns up to borrowing some meat he used to make him and his mom steak and eggs for breakfast and lies that he’ll replace it. That’s when I pull out the package from the freezer and prove it was in fact horse meat and his mom burst into tears crying to her son ‘how could you feed me horse.’ He definitely at least stopped borrowing my meat after that.

So, I work in a big clothing store. Since this is the last week before Christmas and our store is pretty big, I expected to have more people on a shift to cover up everything. But, I was wrong. The amount of customers is double compared to other normal weeks, so we are pretty understaffed. I was working in the changing rooms. My job was to keep them clean, make sure that people are respecting the COVID guidance, and putting back the clothes left by the customers. There were many customers, a huge line, and a lot of frustrated people, but I was doing quite a good job. As I was minding my business, a lady shouts to me from the last changing room, ''You there, bring me an S for this skirt.' I went there and she told me that she has the perfect Christmas outfit in mind, but she needs an S for the skirt she was trying on now. I told her that I will bring it, but she will need to be patient since I have a lot of work to do. Five minutes later, as I was ready to go and bring that skirt, the customer once again shouts, 'Where is the skirt?' I once again go there, and I nicely tell her that I was about to go and bring it. She says, 'Forget it, I'll bring it myself, looks [like] nobody does any work in this store.' I nicely explained that my job is not to bring clothes to customers but to take clothes from the changing room and put them back, but I wanted to be nice and do her a favour by bringing that skirt. She said something about me being useless and goes back to change. At that point, I was really annoyed with her entitlement, so I went and took the only S left from that skirt in the entire store and I booked it for myself. The store allows employees to do that during work hours, so it wasn't a problem. As I went back to the changing rooms, I saw that lady hysterically searching for an S. I'll put the skirt back right after Christmas.

My neighbors have a teenage son whose friends keep parking in my driveway. I went to check my mail last week and saw them all out front and decided to nicely bring it up which was met with eye rolls and fake "okays". Monday comes around and I come home to find 3 of his friends cars taking all the space I have to park. It was a 14 hour day for me so I wasn't having it and made my second approach with intention to make myself very clear and said I'd make it the neighbors sons problem. Tonight I get home and it's happened again. I went next door and an adult finally answered! I brought up the cars at my place and added a side note their kid never expected! He's also been throwing his disposable vapes in my yard and I have the other neighbor as a witness! So I casually asked them to make sure that stops and the instant change in expression told me everything I needed to know after I walked away. Shortly after his friends left and I can assume they probably won't be back for a while. Happy spring break kid.