24 Vintage Valentines That Are Way Too Dark

gable1939 Published 02/14/2015

Though your heartache may feel brand new, Valentine's Day has been around for quite some time. It wasn't always a huge commercial holiday, but that's nothing recent either, as you'll see with these vintage Valentine's Day cards. When you see these cards, you'll alternate between cracking up and scratching your head. What were our grandparents thinking?

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1.
Brace yourself for some old-timey awkwardness.
2.
Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't know how dictatorships work?
3.
You win more flies with honey than boxing gloves there, sport.
4.
This was made in a time before people understood that not every pun should be made.
5.
That'll make her feel special.
6.
Hm, this one's more supernatural than super romantic.
7.
Remember what teacher said about stealing?
8.
Not a great plan. At all.
9.
Who can help themselves from falling for someone who robbed them at gunpoint?
10.
This does not seem like a healthy relationship.
11.
Watch where you're aiming that thing.
12.
Sounds painful...and expensive.
13.
Leave the puppy alone!
14.
Maybe don't lead with that.
15.
You can't just declare war, kid. Congress has to okay it first.
16.
Um, maybe don't call it that.
17.
If it's no accident, then it's manslaughter.
18.
Cool! I'll be hiding underneath my bed.
19.
I don't think I can trust you. Also, you're a wolf.
20.
Sure, anything you want-just don't shoot.
21.
Your eyes are brown like the harsh tobacco I inhale two packs of every day.
22.
That's just bonkers.
23.
What could possibly go wrong with kittens?
24.
That thing better be made out of chocolate.

1.
Brace yourself for some old-timey awkwardness.
2.
Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't know how dictatorships work?
3.
You win more flies with honey than boxing gloves there, sport.
4.
This was made in a time before people understood that not every pun should be made.
5.
That'll make her feel special.
6.
Hm, this one's more supernatural than super romantic.
7.
Remember what teacher said about stealing?
8.
Not a great plan. At all.
9.
Who can help themselves from falling for someone who robbed them at gunpoint?
10.
This does not seem like a healthy relationship.
11.
Watch where you're aiming that thing.
12.
Sounds painful...and expensive.
13.
Leave the puppy alone!
14.
Maybe don't lead with that.
15.
You can't just declare war, kid. Congress has to okay it first.
16.
Um, maybe don't call it that.
17.
If it's no accident, then it's manslaughter.
18.
Cool! I'll be hiding underneath my bed.
19.
I don't think I can trust you. Also, you're a wolf.
20.
Sure, anything you want-just don't shoot.
21.
Your eyes are brown like the harsh tobacco I inhale two packs of every day.
22.
That's just bonkers.
23.
What could possibly go wrong with kittens?
24.
That thing better be made out of chocolate.