We once got a piece of clothing for one of the kids and right on the label, I kid you not, ‘remove child before washing.'

On an AirFrance flight from Morocco to Mauritania, the flight attendant gave the safety brief in French at first. My french is not good but my ears pricked up when I heard the words "feu de camp." I obviously discounted my translation as misunderstanding the brief until she went into the brief in English. We were given the standard safety brief on all aircraft, but at the end we were specifically reminded that there are to be no cooking or camp fires lit on the plane at any time. Can you imagine your seat mate getting hungry and deciding to start a fire on an airplane to cook up some snacks?!?!?

I worked at a video rental store and we had a big sign at the front of the store that said “CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN” because kids are an organizational nightmare

“Do not fill with urine” on a water gun.

In rehab our cottons swabs were taken away because a guy decided to jam one into his eardrum to get sent to the hospital and get painkillers. Every seemingly dumb rule we had in there had a backstory to it.

Never iron clothes while they are being worn.

In Florida " You may not have sexual relations with a porcupine".

I live in student accommodation, on the back of the bathroom door there are diagrams of the right and wrong ways to sit on the toilet.

“Do not put 14 rolls of toilet paper in the toilet” -Walmart 2019

At my company's picnic outing: "Anyone who jumps in the lake will be fired."

in NZ it is illegal to name your kid "Pink panties" ...

In my lease, I had a clause to properly dispose of my used tampons. I asked why and apparently my landlord had a tenant that caused $50,000 of damage because she threw her used tampons into the cabinet under the sink. She rented the apartment for years and there were 3+ years worth of used, bloody tampons in there. The, uh, blood caused a bunch of damage akin to water damage to the bathoom. The floor under the cabinet was rotted through. From bloody tampon storage. The thought of a steamy, gelatinous glorb of blood gooping through the sh**ty linoleum and blooming a bloody Clicker from The Last of Us makes me want to actively die.

“Don’t take (prescription drug) if you're allergic to (same drug).”

Used to work in a big name book store. In the office we had a huge sign saying "no boiled eggs allowed in staff office"

Do not pick up this lawn mower and use it as a hedge trimmer.

No bouncing balls on city sidewalks…it scares horses.

Please do not add dish detergent to the water fountains.

There's a town in Alabama where it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.

"Do not use for drying pets" on the microwave.

In church, there was a sign above the votive candles that read: "Light only one candle - $7 each." Apparently, for $7, someone had lighted all 50 votive candles in the stand.

Do not dress game (e.g. deer, pheasant) in dormitory kitchens. I wonder who dragged a deer into the dorm and cut it up for venison...