The 15 Lamest Character Additions to Smash Bros.
PocketEpiphany
Published
05/05/2021
in
facepalm
When the original Super Smash Bros. debuted on the N64, the game only had 12 characters. Fast-forward to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on the Switch and we have 80 characters and counting!
At first, having a massive pool of players to choose from seems awesome, but many of these new additions don't hold a flame to the original cast of characters.
At first, having a massive pool of players to choose from seems awesome, but many of these new additions don't hold a flame to the original cast of characters.
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1.
Sephiroth
Sometimes, gamers must face deeply unpleasant truths. And this is one of them: Sephiroth is perhaps the most overrated character of all time.
Sure, he was a neat villain in Final Fantasy VII. But his character design was never really that original, just as his character motivations were insanely murky. He ends up being a really boring Smash character that is only here so Nintendo can capitalize on your nostalgia for the salad days of Squaresoft. -
2.
Dark Samus
Samus has been an insanely popular Nintendo character for decades. So it only makes sense that she would feature prominently in Smash.
But do we really need so many versions? We already have a standard Samus and a Zero Suit Samus. And Dark Samus plays so much like the original that this “new” character is a real waste. -
3.
Mii Fighter
This is another idea that looks good on paper. Who wouldn’t want a chance to insert themselves into their favorite fighting game?
In reality, though, there are serious limitations to the Mii creator. You end up with something that looks barely better than a stick figure drawing of yourself. Alongside the detailed Nintendo IPs, your Mii looks downright stupid. -
4.
Incineroar
Pokemon remains insanely popular, which is why there are multiple Pokemon characters in Smash. But none are quite so boring as Incineroar.
He’s not as iconic as the other characters, and controlling this guy is a real slog. And if we’re being honest, it’s tough to look at him and not think someone brought their Deviant Art furry character to life with a wish. -
5.
Duck Hunt
Gamers of a certain age have very fond memories of Duck Hunt. But those fond memories don’t really translate to a satisfying fighter.
It’s kind of the worst of both worlds. Newer gamers will be asking what the hell these characters are even as older gamers wonder why the hell they were included in the first place. -
6.
Dr. Mario
On paper, it sounds fun to play as drug-dealing Mario masquerading as a doctor (we know you didn’t go to medical school, man). In reality, though, the experience is deeply redundant.
Obviously, Dr. Mario is just like a Mario variant that is less fun to play as. Why not make Dr. Mario a skin for regular Mario and free up a slot for a better character? We can only assume the decision to include Dr. Mario made more sense after developers swallowed a bunch of his “Megavitamins” -
7.
Olimar
Why would anyone want to play Olimar in Smash? Hell, Olimar is barely worth playing in the Pikmin games!
In all seriousness, Olimar’s design has always looked horrible. And the Pikmin look like somebody failed an assignment to create cute, original characters. Put them together and you have one ugly mess of a bland and boring fighter. -
8.
Banjo & Kazooie
In Smash, just like in their own games, Banjo & Kazooie are a package deal. Unfortunately, these characters really clash with most of the roster in Smash.
The bear and the bird have cute designs, but they are not exciting to watch. And their combat feels really bland. If we’re being honest, these characters seem like an example of Nintendo really phoning it in on character additions. -
9.
Steve
In the world of Minecraft, Steve’s blocky aesthetic fits right in. But in the world of Smash, Steve’s design stands out in all the worst ways.
On top of that, it’s kind of weird to imagine Steve as a take-no-prisoners tournament fighter. Considering Minecraft is a game about building boring structures until the music makes you fall asleep, Steve seems like one of the weirdest character additions Nintendo could make. -
10.
Piranha Plant
Many of the characters on this list are going to be very controversial. But at the time he was introduced, most players could agree that the Piranha Plant was a terrible addition to the roster.
That’s because this isn’t really a “character” in the strictest sense. He is just one of Mario’s many faceless bad guys. Playing him is about as exciting as taking control of a Goomba or a Metroid would be. -
11.
Bowser Jr.
Sure, the little guy has his fans. But can we just admit that Bowser Jr. is the laziest possible design for a character? He certainly seems like a downgrade after tangling with the Koopa kids in Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World.
And that’s just the problem: Bowser Jr. is pretty much just a crappier version of Bowser. If I wanted to play a worse version of an iconic character, I’d just play as Luigi and be done with it. -
12.
Wolf
In the Star Fox franchise, Wolf is a perfectly capable bad guy. He fills in the token trope of “evil version of the main character” quite nicely.
But in the context of Smash Bros., Wolf just feels redundant. We already have Fox and Falco, and they play very similar to Wolf. At times, it feels like there should have just been different skins for Fox instead of separate characters. -
13.
Mr. Game and Watch
For better or for worse, Nintendo is always catering to fans young and old. And one of the weirder examples of catering to older fans is by including Mr. Game and Watch as a playable character.
He’s not a great fighter, and his design really sucks. And while it is meant to emulate the original Game and Watch titles, his herky-jerky animations are just distractingly weird. -
14.
Wii Fit Trainer
There is a fine line between something feeling “nostalgic” and feeling “dated.” And the Wii Fit Trainer character crosses the line.
Like, Wii Fit was a neat idea once upon a time, but nobody really uses it anymore except for bored grandparents. Playing as this boring fighter with this terrible design does nothing but remind you of a game that was cool once back in 2007. -
15.
Isabelle
For Animal Crossing fans, Isabelle is a very adorable character. But did anybody really want her in a fighting game franchise?
This is a classic example of two great tastes not tasting great together. Isabelle should have stuck to visiting your island and Nintendo should have brought us a better fighter.
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