10 Silliest-Looking Armors With the Best Stats
PocketEpiphany
Published
09/20/2021
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1.
Gerudo Dress
Leave it to Nintendo to be progressive in the weirdest possible way! In Breath of the Wild, you can buy and keep this Gerudo dress for Link long after the plot demands it, and players love to laugh at Link dressed in the kind of weird, skimpy outfit usually reserved for female characters.
But the armor actually offers good heat resistance as well as access to Gerudo Town. Plus, it’s a design classic, with Link cosplayers flocking to this funky outfit at every major convention. -
2.
Tupperware
In South Park: The Fractured But Whole, nothing is taken seriously. And that includes superheroes, which is how we get Token dressing up as “Tupperware,” the game’s version of Iron Man.
The outfit looks dumb as hell, of course. But the ability to summon turrets, fire barrages of rockets, and easily knock foes backward make this knockoff Iron Man armor as good as the real thing! -
3.
Sanada Crimson
In Nioh, the Sanada Crimson looks pretty absurd. Mostly, it’s the helmet that makes it look like a powerful warrior decided to do a half-assed cosplay of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Silly or not, though, this armor provides solid stats, especially for those who like to do damage with critical attacks. Just don’t expect to look like a badass while you’re kicking butt! -
4.
Caesar’s Legion
We love Fallout: New Vegas for all of its silly ideas. And this includes letting you run around the wasteland while dressed like one of Julius Ceasar’s own troops.
When you wear the armor, your character looks like a bad cosplayer who got really, really lost. But between this outfit disguising your character and offering big boosts to Survival and Speech stats, we were surprised by how effective it really is! -
5.
Cardboard Knight
So, this entry is a bit of a cheat, but we couldn’t resist adding it. While the Cardboard Knight armor of Killing Floor 2 is cosmetic (and therefore doesn’t help or hurt your stats), it also makes you look like you’re taking on the zombie (or Zed) apocalypse in the funniest possible way.
Just look at this armor! It’s hard to do so without smiling. It’s the kind of armor that you might create as a kid over the summer, and you can rock it in the game without hurting any of your stats. -
6.
Nuka-Girl Space Suit
If you hold a sci-fi gun to our head, we’ll tell you the truth: Fallout 4 wasn’t really that good. But it had some memorably crazy armor in it, including this Nuka-Girl Space Suit.
It makes you look like a reject from a 1950s B movie, and in certain situations, wearing it may get your ass kicked. But its major resistance to damage from both radiation and energy weapons means that it will save your life in certain fights and certain sections of the wasteland. -
7.
Goomba’s Shoe
Since the original Super Mario Bros., Mario has had the ability to make himself invincible by powering up with a star. But it wasn’t until the third entry in the franchise that he got some cool “armor’ in the form of the Goomba’s Shoe.
You only get to wear this shoe in one level, but it lets Mario walk on spikes, jump on piranha plants, and generally kick ass in ways that he never could before. Plus, let’s be real: this thing is a design classic! -
8.
Spud Of War
How do you make Kratos, the titular God of War, look absolutely absurd? Simple: you dress him up like a potato, making him the “Spud of War.”
This is, without a doubt, one of the dumbest gaming costumes you will ever see. But wearing it gives your character infinite magic and four times your normal damage resistance, and this makes beating the game a snap! -
9.
Mega Man
In Dead Rising, you can dress up as Mega Man, and it looks pretty dumb. How dumb are we talking? This is “the covert art from the first Mega Man” levels of dumb.
And the base costume doesn’t really do anything for your stats. But if you can unlock the Real Mega Buster to go along with it, you’ll have access to 300 shots, each one capable of putting a zombie down with a single well-aimed blast. -
10.
Knight’s Armor
While the game tried to make things tolerable, Resident Evil 4 has large chunks that are just one big escort mission. And it can get frustrating trying to keep Ashley alive while fighting the not-quite-zombie hordes.
But the “Special 2” costume set puts Ashley in a giant suit of medieval plate armor. In this costume, she cannot be damaged and cannot be carried off. As a funny bonus, if you try to point your gun at Ashley’s exposed face, the armor will automatically lower face protection to block your shot!
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