10 Most Insane Medical Procedures In History!
Peter Pizagalli
Published
09/12/2014
Doctors have a long storied background of not knowing what the hell they're doing. History is filled with stories of hilarious medical ineptitude, and in all likeliness, today's medical practices will be similarly snorted at 100 years down the road.
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1. Female Hysteria Cures - According to 19th century doctors it's a symptom of a deadly serious medical condition along with other symptoms such as nervousness, irritability and the dreaded "tendency to cause trouble." That's right ladies, you may be a victim of female hysteria and not even know it! -
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1. Female Hysteria Cures- according to 19th century doctors it's a symptom of a deadly serious medical condition along with other symptoms such as nervousness, irritability and the dreaded "tendency to cause trouble". That's right ladies, you may be a victim of female hysteria and not even know it -
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The prescription for female hysteria was usually a good spot of doctor administered vaginal massage until the woman achieved "hysterical paroxysm."Yes that's right, the cure for female hysteria was a doctor's hand down your bloomers until you weren't only thinking of England but screaming its name. Is it any wonder the list of symptoms for female hysteria was so long, literally any ailment could fit the diagnosis? -
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2. Trepanation - A fancy term for drilling holes in your head. This is actually the oldest surgical procedure known to man as humans have been intentionally knocking holes in their skulls dating back to the time of cavemen. -
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2. Trepanation-Trepanation is a fancy word for drilling holes in your head. This is actually the oldest surgical procedure known to man as humans have been intentionally knocking holes in their skulls dating back to the time of cavemen, giving hope to anyone who's had to watch the sitcom starring the Geico cavemen that all of them might die in a trepanation experiment horribly gone wrong in an upcoming episode. -
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Trepanation was also used as an extreme form of cosmetic experimental body modification amongst several societies such as the Incans and Mayans. -
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Trepanation was also used as an extreme form of cosmeticexperimental body modification amongst several societies such as the Incans and Mayans. These societies also got largely wiped out -
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3. Hard Core Diet Remedies - While fuller figures have been popular for most of history, during the 20th century thin was in for women. This need to be slim led to the creation of countless "diet pills" that promised to help you melt away those pounds and inches. -
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3. Hard Core Diet Remedies-While fuller figures have been popular for most of history, during the 20th century thin was in for women which explains why it's known today as the "no fat chicks" century. Well, at least by us. This need to be slim led to the creation of countless "diet pills" that promised to help you melt away those pounds and inches. -
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In the 1950s and '60s women who took diet pills liked them so darn much they just couldn't seem to stop taking them. Of course, it might have had something to do with the fact that the diet pills of the '50s and '60s were in actuality bottles of pure crank. But hey, what's getting addicted to amphetamines when being ready for bathing suit season hangs in the balance? -
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in the 1950s and '60s women who took diet pills liked them so darn much they just couldn't seem to stop taking them. Of course, it might have had something to do with the fact that the diet pills of the '50s and '60s were in actuality bottles of pure crank. But hey, what's getting addicted to amphetamines when being ready for bathing suit season hangs in the balance? -
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4. Bloodletting - Basically the theory was that the body was filled with four fluids; blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile called humours. Any imbalance in the four was the root of all illness. Apparently blood can be a bit of a space hog and thus often some had to be bled out to make room for more fun stuff like phlegm and black bile, or so the theory went. -
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4. Bloodletting-Basically the theory was that the body was filled with four fluids blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black bile called humours and that any imbalance in the four was the root of all illness. Apparently blood can be a bit of a space hog and thus often some had to be bled out to make room for more fun stuff like phlegm and black bile a.k.a. diarrhea, or so the theory went -
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Bloodletting, was used prior to the mid-nineteenth century to release disease and ease the suffering of ill patients. Cholera victims were often subjected to such treatment. -
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Now, a person having too much blood may sound about as absurd as a person breathing too much air or you coming home to find too many naked supermodels in your bed. -
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5. Urine Therapy - Throughout history there are those who believed the key to good health was wallowing in one's own excretions. It was said to cure an endless list of ailments and promote good health if drank, was applied to the skin and yes some even used it to give themselves turn away now weak-of-heart a nice bracing urine enema. -
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For most people most of the time, one's own urine is not likely to be harmful. However, it is not likely to be healthful or useful except for those rare occasions when one is buried beneath a building or lost at sea for a week or two. -
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There's absolutely no evidence that urine therapy can cure a damn thing and it comes with the added bonus of you getting to smell like the underside of a bridge or a downtown subway car. No, even the thing with peeing on jellyfish stings isn't true -
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6. Lobotomies - Lobotomies were a popular fad for the first half of the 20th century and were floated as a "cure" for pretty much any mental issue you can name, from conditions as serious as schizophrenia to something as mild as depression or anxiety. -
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The inventor of the lobotomy was given a Nobel Prize for it in 1949. Doctors claimed the "ice-pick-to-the- freaking-eye" method of lobotomy would be as quick and easy as a trip to the dentist. By 1960, parents were getting them for their moody teenage children.This practice didn't hang around as long as some on our list, but still some 70,000 people were lobotomized before somebody figured out that driving a spike into the brain probably was not the answer to all of life's problems. -
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7. Electrical Impotence Cures - In the late 19th century, the wonders of electricity became to be known to the common person. Electrified beds, elaborate penis shocking electric belts, and other strange devices were advertised as being able to return "male power" by making your penis rise to electrified attention. -
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What's fascinating is that you can find ads for more than one brand of electric penis-shock belt. That seems to indicate that the shock belt industry somehow survived past the first test device. -
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What's fascinating is that you can find ads for more than one brand of electric dick-shock belt. That seems to indicate that the dick-shock belt industry somehow survived the negative word of mouth from the first dick-shock belt.Screaming word of mouth... -
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8. Calm Your Cough with Heroin - 19th century people apparently took cough suppression seriously. Heroin was marketed as something to take for simple coughs and wheezes. -
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Heroin, by the way, was originally developed and sold as medicine by Bayer. You know, those friendly folks behind harmless old aspirin. -
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Heroin, by the way, was originally developed by Bayer. You know, those friendly folks behind harmless old aspirin. -
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9. The Curative Powers of Mercury - The shiny silvery liquid has fascinated humans for millennia, there's evidence people used it as early as 1500 BC. Mercury was used to treat pretty much anything and everything. Scraped your knee? Just rub a little mercury on it. Having some problems with regularity? Forget fiber, time to get some mercury up in there! -
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9. The Curative Powers of Mercury-Mercury is pretty neat stuff. The shiny silvery liquid has fascinated humans for millennia there's evidence people used it as early as 1500 BC and will undoubtedly continue to fascinate far into the future when shape-shifting Robert Patrick clones overtake the planet. How could something so awesome not be good for you?That was the thinking for centuries, when Mercury was used to treat pretty much anything and everything. Scraped your knee? Just rub a little mercury on it. Having some problems with regularity? Forget fiber, time to get some mercury up in there! -
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Mercury, as we now know, is extremely toxic. Symptoms of mercury poisoning include chest pains, heart and lung problems, coughing, tremors, violent muscle spasms, psychotic reactions, delirium, hallucinations, suicidal tendencies, and more. -
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Mercury, as we now know, is extremely toxic. Symptoms of mercury poisoning include chest pains, heart and lung problems, coughing, tremors, violent muscle spasms, psychotic reactions, delirium, hallucinations, suicidal tendencies, and more. -
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10. Children's Soothing Syrups - To aide the stressed 19th-century mother, a series of "soothing syrups," lozenges and powders were created, all which were carefully formulated to ensure they were safe for use by those most vulnerable members of the family. Oh, no, wait. Actually, they pumped each bottle full of as many narcotics as it could hold. -
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Each ounce of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup contained 65 mg of pure morphine. In 1910 the New York Times decided the whole narcotic-babysitter concept was probably bad in the long run, and ran an article pointing out that these soothing syrups contained, "...morphin sulphate, chloroform, morphine hydrochloride, codeine, heroin, powdered opium, cannabis indica," and sometimes several of them in combination. -
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For instance, each ounce of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup contained 65 mg of pure morphine.In 1910 the New York Times decided the whole narcotic-babysitter concept was probably bad in the long run, and ran an article pointing out that these soothing syrups contained, "...morphin sulphate, chloroform, morphine hydrochloride, codeine, heroin, powdered opium, cannabis indica," and sometimes several of them in combination.
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