A man and his son walk into an ice cream parlor. The man orders a vanilla cone, looks at his son, slaps him on the back of the head and asks, “What do you want, Fathead?”

The guy at the counter is appalled. He questions the man on his actions, to which the man replies, “There are three things a man wants in life: 1. A big truck. You see that truck out there? Biggest damn truck in town; 2. A nice house. I got the nicest house in the county; and 3) A tight woman. Had me one of those too, until Fathead here came along…”