Ahh Christianity, the world’s largest religion, the newest Abrahamic iteration, and a mushroom-fueled fever dream?

Back in 1970, John M. Allegro, a Dead Sea Scrolls scholar, argued that the Bible’s New Testament wasn’t a literal depiction of men who followed Christ, but instead was a coded story for mushroom-fueled fertility rituals, implying that Christianity as a whole – was an allegory for psychedelic use.

“The mushroom has always been a thing of mystery,” Allegro penned in his very concisely-titled 1970 book, The Sacred Mushroom, and the Cross: A Study of the Nature and Origins of Christianity Within the Fertility Cults of the Ancient Near East. “The ancients were puzzled by its manner of growth without seed, the speed with which it made its appearance after rain, and its as rapid disappearance.”

@the_deep_dive Jesus Was A Mushroom #religion #ancient #jesus #trending #christianity ♬ original sound - The Deep Dive

Considering that “every aspect of the mushroom's existence was fraught with sexual allusions, and in its phallic form the ancients saw a replica of the fertility god himself,” Allegro argued psychedelics played an integral role in the formation of Christianity, per the New York Times.  

“It was the ‘son of God,’ its drug was a purer form of the god's own spermatozoa than that discoverable in any other form of living matter,” he continued.  “It was, in fact, God himself, manifest on earth. To the mystic it was the divinely given means of entering heaven; God had come down in the flesh to show the way to himself, by himself.”

Yet, 53-odd-years after this theory sparked a media frenzy – and pissed off a whole lot of Christians, some of whom are still VERY peeved about Allegro’s arguments – this theory has garnered a new, younger audience ready to question just how much Jesus Christ was a fun guy (pun VERY much intended).

@maklelan Responding to @clipMind #maklelan826 ♬ original sound - Dan McClellan

Earlier this spring, conspiracy page @the_deep_dive took to TikTok with a video recounting this argument, one that captivated – and confused – a whole lot of users.

“They crucified a mushroom,” joked @zandingle69.

“I heard he was a fun guy,” added @Mavcop.

But hey, regardless of where you stand on Jesus’s fungal nature, one thing is for certain – as shrimpabella so aptly put it, “I’m too high for this.”