The great chicken war is upon us. Take shelter with your loved ones as TikTok farmers battle with their flock of chickens, or Hen-ch men. 

The great chicken war has dominated TikTok for the last week with videos of people and their hordes of chickens ready to ruffle some feathers. The great chicken war of 2023 all started when @dylan_bezjack posted a video of himself walking with a group of chickens strutting in step behind him.

@dylan_bezjack #i #aint #no #chicken ♬ original sound - Hill billy of Alberta

“You better watch out there, pal. Me and my posse are on our way to kick some ass and take some names here,” he said.

This incited countless TikTok stitches from farmers all over the world egging on the battle. One guy mimed a gun while holding a chick. Truly fowl behavior.

@yourmomspoolboy_7_ I see your slow meat birds and raise you a herd of ostriches! #chickenwar #chickenwars #pullup #meatbirdsareslow #ostrichesoftiktok #ostrichtiktok #i #aint #no #chicken #ostrich #fafo # #bigbirds #wholelottagangsh1t #gang #gangwar #chickengang ♬ original sound - Yourmomspoolboy

@fechinfresheggs Peggy and the girls will win this war! #chickenwar #chickenwars #chickenwar2023 #fyp #foryou #chickensoftiktok #chickengang #chickens @Yourmomspoolboy @jolly_good_ginger @theanxioushomesteader @Hill billy of Alberta @TstarRRMC @hiddencreekfarmnj @TwoGuysandSomeLand @only_hens @Chicken brother @Jake Hoffman @Barstool Sports ♬ Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Another creator one up’d both of them with the most white chickens I have ever seen in my life,  following him in his video. He has the numbers but does he has the size?

@iamjakeyminaj #stitch w/ @Yourmomspoolboy @Dylan Bezjack #chickenwars #pullup ♬ original sound - Jake Hoffman

Naturally, the smack-talking turned into a cock measuring contest.

@2guysandsomeland Stitch w/ @dylan_bezjack @yourmomspoolboy_7_ @iamjakeyminaj didnt tell me it was small only #foryou #chicken #chickenwars #greenscreenvideo ♬ original sound - TwoGuysandSomeLand

“I’m kinda known for having the biggest cock around,” says @2guysandsomeland.

From chicks to “huge cocks” the war is not limited to just poultry.

In the dramatic tale of war and beak, farmers with other barn animals joined the fun. We got emus, ducks, sheep, pigs, goats, and more ready to join the fight.

@berksbeans Berk’s Beans Coffee - Chicken Wars . . #chickenwars #chickenwars2023 #chickens #roosters #fyp #fypシ #epic #wars #berksbeans #berksbeanscoffee ♬ original sound - Berk’s Beans

@kerry_bo It’s getting good!! Place your bets! #chickenwars #bringit #motherclucker ♬ original sound - Kerry

“This has escalated to farm wars and this is not what Noah had in mind…” commented one user on a compilation video of the trend.

There are countless videos under the chicken war tag on TikTok and it's the easiest internet rabbit hole (chicken coop?) to get sucked into.

This trend is as if Old Macdonald's farm were experiencing a civil war. I don’t know who will win but I’m terrified of each team.