Every morning, someone, somewhere is putting on a shirt that will soon be featured in their mugshot. They may not know it at the time, but the simple act of choosing a shirt will create an image that will be immortalized in both their memory and every single Google search of their name for years to come.


If you’re lucky, you’ll end up wearing a simple tee or button-down. If you’re unlucky, you’ll end up like this guy:



According to the Marion County Sheriff's Office (yes, of course, this happened in Florida), James Rix Jr. was doing 89 in a 45 mph zone when he drove past a cop. Realizing that Rix was going, in cop speak, “way too fast,” the officer decided to chase Rix down. Rix, in response, allegedly attempted to evade the cops by turning off his lights and turning down a side street.


Eventually, the long arm of the law caught up to Rix and asked him to get out of the car — revealing that his shirt read, “I’m the Reason the Beer’s Always Gone.”



We’ll just say that Rix’s handling of the arrest wasn’t great. For example, when the officer decided to administer a field-sobriety test, he asked the standard question of whether there was anything that would preclude Rix from performing the test, such as a movement disability. Rix took this moment to try to land a joke, asking, “Besides being drunk?” He then denied being drunk. Classic comedy!


In case you thought there was any chance Rix wasn’t drunk, even though the video shows him failing the field-sobriety test (they’re admittedly a terrible measure of sobriety, after all), then don’t worry — the Marion County Sheriff's Office had the courtesy to also breathalyze Rix back at the station, where he blew a Herculean .204 and .200. For context, the legal limit is .08, and some people begin to black out around .16.


To summarize, don’t drink and drive, don’t try to joke with the cops — and if you’re going to do those things, for god’s sake put on a different shirt.