Have you ever wanted cold hard data on how much a complete stranger shits and showers? No? Well, you’re getting it anyway, thanks to a Twitter user who calls themselves a “survey artist.”



Aella Girl has posted their stats for 2023, sharing a full breakdown of their 2023 in numbers with us, the internet. In 2023, they went outside on 248 out of 365 days, pooped on 192 days, worked on 162 days, drank alcohol on 121 days, showered on 37 days and masturbated on 32 days.



Comparing their numbers to 2022’s, they concluded that in 2023 they were more “productive” — aka spent more days working, traveling, socializing and exercising — but less “flourishing,” aka spending less time writing, making art and having sex. Amazingly, they showered the exact same number of times in both 2022 and 2023, and they clarified that they have “sensory issues around showering” instead preferring to “spot-wash and regularly use a bidet” while “check[ing] with brutally honest friends” for feedback about how they smell.


Obviously, most responses were from people alarmed by the small number of showers, while others were amazed that Aella doesn’t shit every single day, prompting Aella to ask them why they shit so much. Touché.



Aella’s stats — again, Aella only left the house on 248 days out of 365 (or 68 percent of the time) in 2023 — appeared to spark some discourse around whether it’s “insane person behavior” to have days where you don’t leave the house at all, with more than a few people arguing that fringe cases aside, if you don’t leave the house every day “there is something WRONG with you and MISSING from your LIFE!”


I, for one, am waiting to see if Aella has more good meals in 2024. Only 53 good meals in 2023 is an incredibly tragic and depressing number, even more so than the 55 days on which they cried.